Wednesday, January 10, 2007

On Quoting Movies

Things you should get punched in the face for quoting:

  • Mike Meyers from So I Married an Axe Murderer. Incredibly I still hear people quoting characters from this movie. Guess what? I got a fever... and if you quote this movie the only prescription is more punching you in the face.
  • Sean Connery on SNL "Celebrity Jeopardy." This is hands down the least funny thing someone could ever quote. Not only should you be punched in the face for quoting this, you should have the modern day equivalent of the scarlet letter hung around your neck. Something that says "I think I'm funny but really I'm not." Something like a Subway sweatshirt. The first time I ever heard this was at a party and some dude was playing clips of it on his computer and thought he was the life of the party. I wish I had the guts at the time to punch him in the face.
Things you won't get punched in the face for quoting:

  • Caddy Shack
  • Fletch
  • The Big Lebowski
  • Waiting For Guffman
  • Raising Arizona
Note to future employers: I don't condone punching people in the face in the workplace. That's what happy hours are for.


Marc said...

Interesting. Good to know. Out of curiosity, where do you stand on quoting the Princess Bride or Monty Python and the Search for the Holy Grail?

Glad to see you throw in the Big Lebowski, because you know, the Dude abides. I don't know about you but I take comfort in that. It's good knowin' he's out there. The Dude. Takin' 'er easy for all us sinners.

David Kennedy said...

Depends on what you're quoting from the Princess Bride. Mostly it's not funny. Given the right quote from the movie in the right situation, though, you might not get punched in the face.

As far as Monty Python, it's never been huge in my circles so I haven't heard enough unfunny people quoting it to ruin it. It probably won't get a punch in the face from me.

Informant said...

Who are the people still quoting So, I married and Ax Murderer? I need names so I can punch them too.

I might open up the allowable category to all Coen Brothers movies, but (except Intolerable Cruelty because Zeta-Jones bugs me).

Informant said...

That last sentence makes no sense. What I was trying to say is Zeta-Jones bugs me.

SmootheP said...

What about Johnny Lingo ?

I would say there is just 1 person from The Holy Grail who can still be quoted without a punch to the face - Tim the Enchanter. His performance was SO absolutely timeless and under-quoted (if that's possible..) that he's clean still. Any other quotes from the movie deserve multiple two-fisted punches to the face.

GREAT post about So I Married An Axe Murderer. Reminds me of my own life.

I was dating a girl almost a year ago and things seemed to be going fairly well after 5 or 6 dates. After we watched an episode of 24 one night at her house, she pulled up the Tivo menu and put on So I Married. She then began quoting it, merely seconds before the actual words were coming out of the surround sound, which she had turned up so loud my head was splitting. This went on for about 30 minutes, with me cringing the entire time. Finally, I told her I had to leave. "What? You don't love So I Married..?" "Nope, it was funny once. Not the regurgitated 80th time. I'm anti now. See you later."

Walked out the door and never saw her again. I think her name was Heather.

Marc said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
David Kennedy said...

Sorry Marc, upon further review I had to delete that one.

Informant, that's a good rule. I'd like to see you elaborate on this post sometime.

SpootheP, if you say "Mahana you ugly" you should get punched. Is there anything else that people quote from it? Incidentally, I read somewhere that Johnny Lingo was popular outside of Mormon circles and that it even was popular in the business world. Anyone know anything about this?

Marc said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Marc said...

Hmmm... how's this?

I guess I'd make ONE caveat for quoting So I Married An Axe Murderer... it's alright IF someone is ONLY quoting from Phil Hartman's choice monologue: "Now this is something none of the other tour guides will tell you. In this particular cell block Machine Gunn Kelly had, what we call in the prison system, a "------" And one day, in a jealous rage, Kelly took a makeshift knife, or "shiv," and cut out his "-----'s" eyes.... And as if blinding his "-----" wasn't enough retribution for Kelly, the next day he and four other inmates took turns [getting rid of expired fluid] into the "-----'s" ocular cavity."

Now THAT is funny.

9:34 PM

smootheP said...

why all the deleted comments? LET THE PEOPLE BE HEARD!!!!!!!!!!!!

Christina Kennedy said...

This is the funniest thing I've ever read!

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