GRAMMAR POLICE
I'd Pay Extra Taxes for Them

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about words and grammar. First of all, why do Americans, speaking the same language, use different words and pronunciations in different parts of the country? When I moved to Tennessee in high school, I was amazed to discover that my friends there used such different words than my friends in Maryland. For one, people in Tennessee call grocery carts “buggies.” I’ve somehow adopted this word and I can’t shake it. They ask if you’re feeling “puny” instead of sick and “do what?” instead of “what did you say?” So, is it pronounced Colo-rod-o or Colo-rad-o? Is it que-pon or coupe-on? Is it Pirates of the Ca-RIBB-ean or Cari-BBE-an?

And, what’s up with grammar these days? I don’t know every grammar rule and I’m sure I’ve messed something up in this post, but I try to care about it. I think most people just don’t care and I’ve discovered recently that a lot people make it up as they go along. My pet peeves: comma splicing and semi-colon mislaying. I could tell you some funny stories, but I want to keep my friends.

I like the YouTube theme we’ve got going on in da house. I now know I’ve joined the “March of the Nerds” and I need to stop bullying people. It’s a whole new world for me. What else am I doing wrong?