Co-Conspirator Unveiled

I guess this won’t be the real Kennedy “Conspiracy” until I start posting. Poor David has been carrying the water (and quite well, I’d say) while I’ve spent weeks trying to think of something to write about. I just can’t think of anything important to say.

Should I talk about why I think Nancy Pelosi and Hillary Clinton could double-handedly bankrupt the U.S. health care system, despite their considerable contributions through plastic surgery? Should I compile etiquette rules for communicating with strangers in enclosed public places like elevators, carpools, buses, subway cars, airplanes, etc.? I've spent hours in all of these places in recent months. Recently: after an elevator stops on the third consecutive floor, the man in the back says, “I guess we picked up the local today. Where can I catch the express?” Umm... I have to admit that I’ve said a lame thing or two to someone in an elevator, but nothing (I assure you) good came of it. I’ve concluded that most people enjoy the few moments of peace and quiet they get everyday while traveling to and from work.

There are times when verbal communication is necessary in public places. For example, “Excuse me; this is my Metro stop (and you’re blocking the door with your suitcase and oversized FBI sweatshirt).” Has living in DC hardened me? Maybe so. I do honk my horn at everything when I drive in the city now. I didn’t used to. But, don’t people need to know when they can't drive?

There should also be a list of rules about personal space and touching in public places. A few weeks ago, I was in a crowded Metro car on the way to work and the woman behind me was standing WAY too close. I know sometimes it’s too crowded to worry about personal space and bumping just can’t be avoided. This actually wasn’t one of those times. It was crowded, but not THAT crowded. In the end, I had only inches in front of me to move forward. Every time I moved forward (which finally consisted of flexing my stomach muscles and moving ever-so slightly so as not to touch the person in front of me but to get the heck away from the lady behind me), she moved closer to me. Where can people go to learn that they shouldn’t spoon random woman on the Metro? Maybe this blog should be about that. I’ll think about it.

I think I want this post to be about misused clichés like “carrying the water.” Why do we take phrases that we hear and use them to mean what we think they mean but not what they really mean? Chew on that. So, if David’s been carrying my water, does that mean I know I’m smarter and more powerful than he is or has he been following me around waiting for me to get thirsty?

Am I a bitter blogger? I hope not.

Next time, should we talk about Valentine’s Day presents and how to deseed a pomegranate? Let’s!